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Be Free

6/23/2014

My Original poem based on Mary Oliver’s Wild Geese poem (see 6/16/14 post)

You do not have to do what they want you to do

You do not have to be what they want you to be

You only have to follow your own heart.

Tell me about your fear…

As you leap into your own direction.

Meanwhile take naps and listen

To the tune of your purpose

Meanwhile become awake and note the song you are…

Next steps…

You only get one life,

One lyric – to live.

Leave rules to the deceased;

You’ll only persevere for that which is your own,

The rest is pressure in the tune of them not you,

Each day – become free

Do what you were created to do.

This poem is entitled Be Free and I created it using an unblocking writing exercise with the framework of Mary Oliver’s poem Wild Geese. The poem is designed to take the reader on a journey of mental freedom starting with affirmations similar in tone. The poem arose from an emotion of frustration within the system of itinerant ministry. A few months ago I was ordained as an Elder in the African Methodist Episcopal Church and one of the Pastors told me that I am now a prisoner of the AME Church. What a paradox, you are free as an itinerant to have a boundless ministry yet you are still bound by man’s rules, procedures and whims. This has created an internal dilemma for me. How much of my soul do I give to God and how much am I supposed to give to the church? The answer may be all to God and never sell your soul even to the church, yet you would think that the church holds the Book of Life the way they can make demands of clergy. To be a clergy member one has certain responsibilities, but should that responsibility come at the expense of losing your family because you spend more time at church than with your spouse and children. Should it come at the expense of losing your personal dreams because you are more invested in meeting the vision of the church? I only get one life, you only get one life- do you want to spend your entire life telling other religious congregates to go out and live their lives or would you rather exemplify what it means to live life abundantly. I fear that some clergy only feel that they were created to preach behind a pulpit- how restricting that must be. I would want to ask them what they are afraid of.

If your life experience is only predicated around what you do for the church, then what value do you bring to the Kingdom of God outside of the four walls of the church? I was created to soar beyond those four walls, to work in the children villages in Guatemala, to walk with children in search of water in Sub-Saharan Africa, to bring advocacy to the dalits in India, to teach life skills behind prison walls. I was created to use this one life to sing songs of justice through my actions for those inside and outside of the church. Life is only what you make it, so each day we must ask God what we are created to do today.

My pastor recently told me that he prays the Lord’s Prayer differently than most. He says with a loud voice and a foot stomp “Come thy Kingdom, Done thy Will.” Stating the prayer in this manner and removing the repetitive word “thy” made the prayer less passive in tone. In this manner we are giving God a directive as well as saying God do what you want to do in my life and only your will and opinion matters.

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It's Good to be Wild

6/16/2014

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Wild Geese (Mary Oliver)

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
For a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about your despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting --
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.

Reflection: Genesis 1:24-25 (MSG) God spoke: “Earth, generate life! Every sort and kind: cattle and reptiles and wild animals—all kinds.” And there it was: wild animals of every kind, Cattle of all kinds, every sort of reptile and bug. God saw that it was good.

All my life I have heard- you are such a good child; your parents must love to have you as a daughter. The latter part of this statement may be accurate, but I have become increasingly concerned with being defined as good. Good was the daughter who never sat on the front porch steps because my father said sitting on cold steps would cause hemorrhoids. Good was the child who adhered to staying in a child’s place yet she watched her friends silently experiment with sex and drugs. Good was the granddaughter who would eat her carrots because grandma said it would turn my pupils a prettier and lighter color. Good was the child who never went outside to play because my parents were fearful that the next bullet flying down the street would have my name on it. Good is the child that stayed close to home rather than travel far for college at the bequest of a dependent family member. Good was the student who sat in the classroom with questions circling her mind about the lesson plan but was taught never to question the teacher. Good was the little girl who agreed that everyone besides those in her Pentecostal connectional church was on their way to Hell when in her heart she was plotting with God how to sneak her Jehovah Witness cousin into heaven one day. Good meant I was safe to the extent of being invisible to some and a mechanical dummy to others. I have become so programmed that even as an adult I apologize to God for the slightest thing; whether I drop food on the floor, stub my toe or make a mistake during a presentation I have valued being blameless over the course of my life that my automatic language is of lingering guilt or despair when I do something that is not good enough. Have you ever loss yourself in the peculiarities of small concerns and realized when you are done sacrificing yourself on the altar of sanctification that valuable time spent not laughing, not having fun, not taking risks, not loving, not giving, not living freely has past you by? As Oliver puts it- “tell me about despair…meanwhile the world goes on.”

But Mary Oliver opens her Wild Geese poem with the saying- “you do not have to be good.” But then suggests that we are called to be wild. In the creation story God says the earth would bring forth living creatures and God included the wild things and called them good. Therefore, to be good does not easily translate into being wild, but to be wild is to be good. Oliver presents a beautiful depiction of geese flying from mountain tops, across landscapes and into low valleys with deep trees in sight on their way home. To be a goose is one thing, but to be a wild goose adds to your character. Geese, although transient, adapt to their surroundings. They can be noisy at times, especially in team formations during flight but also on the ground or in the water. They are usually leading one another over or through nature. And to be wild suggests that the geese are independent of restrictions on their habitat. To be wild is to be free from the myths told to you by your parents, by the church even yourself. Oliver’s poem suggests the metaphor that the world calls to us like wild geese, harsh and exciting. Moreover, the world is calling us home and into a type of family system. I take this more so as the world calling us, humanity, back into relationship with nature; back into our original place as a created wild thing that is independent of rules and myths that cloud the conditions of our trajectory and prohibit flight times. In what ways has the world been calling to you? If the world provided you room to do anything this day, no restrictions, what would you do?

Prayer: Inspector God, search my body, my wings, and my beak for any impurities. Forgive me for remaining sedentary when you created me to soar. Animal loving God teach us to be what you created us to be; if it is to be tame- then let it be, if it is to be wild – then let it be. Wild Holy Spirit open our arms to accept the fullness of life; help us not to be knocked out of the skies of our possibilities because of fear, guilt and loyalty to traditional values that have soaring requirements. Let us be – free.

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Reading or Eating- which is more fundamental? A student's dilemma.

6/15/2014

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“The First Book” by Rita Dove

Open it.
Go ahead, it won’t bite.
Well…maybe a little.
More a nip, like. A tingle.
It’s pleasurable, really.
You see, it keeps on opening.
You may fall in.
Sure, it’s hard to get started; remember learning to use
knife and fork? Dig in:
you’ll never reach bottom.
It’s not like it’s the end of the world –
just the world as you think
you know it.

Rita Dove’s poem “The First Book” (above) offers students insight into how reading could change their life. Dove states that the poem came after a visit to her daughter’s school and discovering how many youth were averse to reading. I too share her dismay as a previous teacher. I found that students in our present context, especially African American students in poor urban contexts are either afraid to learn or refuse to believe that learning will help them reach their goals. But then I question myself and ask, are they not reading because we have not provided them with SMART goals; goals that are simple, measurable, attainable, realistic and timely? Most youth want success and they want it now because they feel as though they have the talent. But have we first recognized that talent then taught them how to strengthen that talent? Have we provided them with books on that talent? The rationale that the generation of Blacks before their time fought for an opportunity to go to school is no longer a resolution for them to become invested in reading or their education when economic times are hard youth need finances to support their families more quickly than they can obtain by growing through 12+ years of education. However, in Dove’s poem, she validates the challenges and anxieties that getting started on something new brings and pinches the curiosity bone that is in all of us to take a risk and see what will happen if we allow ourselves to fall into a new adventure of words. She uses a metaphor that digging into a book is similar to digging into a meal with a knife and fork- echoing her sentiments that reading is like eating. The use of short punctuated phrases allows the student to feel like reading is a stop and go process and that it is okay to break up the length of the story for breath, but know that when you get interested it is difficult to stop reading, which is noted by her changes in punctuation and no punctuation in some cases.

Because Dove has a way of bringing out political issues in her poetry, I would like to see a poem by her on her views of the American educational system today. I would like to ask her what she believes are the reasons youth no longer care to read or to receive an education. Dove ends this poem by saying that world as they know it may end, which may inspire some but may appear unrealistic for others. Change for most youth today, especially in urban communities, is an everyday adventure that they may not want to relive in a novel unless the change is for the better. The kids I taught had to take care of their younger siblings due to either an absent parent from long work hours or substance abuse so yes they would love to have a different life but that change is more systematic than a turning of a page. When would they have time to read – what then becomes their metaphor for eating because reading or eating may not be an everyday occurrence for some of them.

In taking some pointers from Dove spiritual exercises, I would create a spiritual exercise for myself and sit in one a class of students in an elementary school or even in Sunday school and observe the conflicts of reading students display. Then offer the students, especially those who were more challenged with reading to get out their internal thoughts in color, in painting, in writing then put words to what they drew, colored or wrote. Spiritually, sometimes it can be tough to read when your mind cannot process another word beyond hunger pangs, beyond the doubts that God will rescue your family from poverty or violence, beyond the words that were screamed at you while getting dress for school- placing ourselves in the place of our children will help us articulate and see spiritual and physically what they are in need of.

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Languages of the Soul

Be Free

It's Good to be Wild

Reading or Eating- which is more fundamental? A student's dilemma.

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